It can be emotionally draining to be in a relationship with a narcissist, which is why it might seem like a godsend when they break up with you.
It feels like you’re finally free of the constant gaslighting, the controlling behavior, and the insulting comments from your ex.
Even though narcissists aren’t likable, they’re constantly seeking a source of supply, someone who can help them feel better about themselves. Unfortunately for you, narcissists don’t like to be alone.
If they find a new source, they are more likely to return to you, but sometimes they will find new birth.
Is it common for Narcissists to return to you after dumping you? Yes, of course! It is common for them to return after ending the relationship if there is still enough supply.
There is no satisfactory answer to this question regarding a narcissistic ex, as the answer is always unsatisfying “it depends.”
It is essential to consider all the circumstances surrounding the breakup, your ex’s mental health and self-esteem, and your willingness to communicate with the narcissist post-relationship before you make any decisions.
What makes narcissists return to their former selves?
When they think returning to a relationship will benefit them, narcissists have no qualms about doing so.
Mainly if they can make it appear like they’re helping you, taking you back.
All they need is a source of supply, and if they can get it while making you feel like they are more mature and forgiving in the relationship, all the better.
When You Are Done With A Narcissist – How To Know If Your Relationship Has Come To An End
In a relationship with a narcissist, insecurity, manipulation, and abuse are some characteristics that define it as a toxic relationship.
One of the most distinguishing characteristics of toxic relationships is the idealized-devalue-discard cycle of abuse that causes victims to doubt themselves, always feel guilty, and desperately seek a way out of the situation.
Suppose you are in a toxic relationship with a narcissist. In that case, your self-esteem will be damaged, your other relationships will be affected, and your mental and physical health will be affected.
Among the most common patterns in a relationship with a narcissist are frequent breakups, followed by the narcissist returning and beginning the whole cycle of abuse after a breakup.
The goal of narcissists is not to find an equal partner, but to manipulate and control their victims, so they become reliant on them for their identity and security.
The consequences of breaking up with a narcissist
- Narcissists are likely to drain you when you break up with them.
- They will deal with you in two ways: either they won’t let you go without a fight, or they will discard you without looking back.
- It is excruciating to go through both experiences.
- A narcissist makes you feel like you are the most critical person before tearing it away.
- The critical thing to remember is that you’re better off without the toxic person in your life, no matter how much it hurts right now.
Being romantically involved with a narcissist is challenging and exhausting, but their departure can also cause havoc. Getting out of a relationship with someone who uses others and is obsessed with themselves is never easy, but it can be even more difficult when you’ve been in it for a long time.
A narcissist may seem charming, engaging, and charismatic on the surface, which makes it difficult to leave.
According to Judith Orloff, a clinical psychiatrist at the University of California Los Angeles, narcissists can cause you to fall in love so hard with them that you feel like you are sacrificing a part of your heart. Moreover, it’s difficult to leave because they’re so good at becoming the center of your universe while you’re with them.
Often, it feels brutal and sudden.
You may be everything your partner has ever wanted in one moment, and in the next, you’re left wondering what happened. In Orloff’s view, narcissists are great at playing a part while getting something from their source. They have no problem throwing you aside once they’ve finished using you.
Regardless of how long you and your ex-partner were together, there will be no apologies or remorse. Instead, it will be because they have realized you can give them something if they return.